More than once since having Little 'A' I have heard "You're Super Mom!" & my only response is laughter. Me? Super Mom? HA!
The truth is- as much as I wish I was, I don't think I can quite wear that Badge of Honor. What they see on the surface isn't the Whole Picture. They see a pretty meal on the table, special allergen-free treats for the family, handmade gifts for friends & family, smiley happy kids in my arms...
But they don't see the massive mess of a house it's all happening in!
It all comes down to priorities, and cleaning is towards the bottom of the list. Luckily 'Husband' knows this & kind of agrees with it.
Why?
Because the things above it on the list are more important to us, it's that simple.
Before he "made an honest woman outta' me" we set a deal- If I make the meal, then he cleans up after it. And we have stuck to that ever since. And if he's too tired to clean, then he knows it will be a bigger mess the next day. I wish I could say that on those days I step up & clean it myself...but that would be a flat out lie. What's that you ask? When he cooks do I clean? ... I plead the fifth...
BUT, I have been making it a point to really kick it up a notch meal wise so that's gotta count for something, right? Right?! And I do try to make an honest effort in not making too big of a mess or using too many dishes while cooking. So there's that.
And with this new Healthy Paleo Lifestyle we have taken too, meals are #2 on the list. I set up meal plans at the beginning of the week, I do the shopping & I make the meals. This includes treats as well. I also make sure that we have a meal/treat to take with us to family functions so we can celebrate with everyone else & not feel like the losers on a "special diet". Sometimes that means I sacrifice rest time or drying my hair/doing make-up so I can prepare our food before we have to dash out the door.
Handmade items are also towards the top of the list, because, well, it saves us money. We are a family of 4 living on an income of 1, people, moneys tight yo'. We both come from large(r) families, & the bigger the family the more presents there are. Since Little 'A' arrived we have really had to reevaluate our budget in the gift area. Luckily my family has scaled back to only giving presents for parents & those under 18. His family has a different system, "PRESENTS, PRESENTS, PRESENTS!" is more of the motto over there. Even though over the past couple years we have been successful in scaling back on Christmas (no longer exchanging with aunts & uncles & pets...yes...pets!), it's still more than we can handle sometimes.
So when ever I can, I make a gift. Truth be told I actually really enjoy making/giving handmade items. I try to put a lot of thought into them & often think about the receiver as I make it. But it does take a lot more time then running to Target & grabbing a toy or shirt or the easiest of them all, a Gift Card. In the end, more time=less $$=bigger mess to clean.
What's at the top of the list?
Family Time.
I spend all day entertaining 'J' & keeping 'A' happy. Preparing food, making things, going on adventures in Kiddy Land & hoping to add HomeSchooling to the list soon.
The Hubs spends the evening playing with the boys, giving baths, cleaning the kitchen.
We spend the weekends with each other & other family/friends.
So you see, we have to make some sacrifices.
& cleaning house is on that list...along with showering, painting my nails, getting a haircut, shopping for clothes that fit (you can see where this is going, right?)
Also on that list: Finishing the kitchen re-model that has been going on for a year now, doing odd jobs around the house, keeping up with the Jones'...
And just to paint a picture of how it works:
I typed this with one hand while rocking Little 'A' & 'J' slept.
SUPER Mom? No. Multi-tasking Mom? Hells Yes.
Showing posts with label POV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label POV. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 24
Friday, April 13
RES-PE-CT
I must say, I am appalled at the level of disrespect I see given to elders these days.
I believe part is due to Generational Ignorance & the other to poor/lack of parenting.
I have always said I wish I was born in a different time. I would gladly give up today's iPads, smart phones, flat screens & fancy things for a time of community, a time when neighborhoods gathered for BBQs, a time full of "Yes, please" & "No, Thank you".
But most importantly, a time when we were not only taught how to be respectful, but how to earn respect from others. Some of the things I have seen lately, behavior that parents are not only allowing, but condoning, is unreal.
To this very day, there are neighbors in my parents neighborhood that I still refer to as "Mrs." & "Mr.". Even as I grew older & was given permission by them to use their first name, I still never did. I suppose I'm a different thinker.
Here's an example for you:
While hand addressing 'J's 1st birthday invites (to which we invited ALL family, friends & even Husbands Grandmothers friends that came to the Baby shower) Husband stops me halfway through & asks
"Do you have Turrets or something?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Well, it's just that half these invites are written in cursive, & the other half isn't."
"The cursive ones are for older guests."
"What? That makes no sense."
"Because people of the older generation appreciate when you write in cursive, trust me, it's kind of like a 'writing respect' thing."
"Whatever you say...."
Now, I'm not try to preach that I'm an angel or anything like that. I've been known to get a little more than irritated with granny drivers that can't see over the wheel (In my defense I see that not as a respect issue, but as a Public Health & Safety Issue!) but I never honk or yell at them.
Bottom line is this-
These amazing people have lived a long, HARD life. Things were not always like this. They have seen our world transform & grow, time & time again, always having to adapt or be left in the wind. They not only DESERVE our respect, they have more than EARNED it. And if they are rude, or disrespectful to you, you just take it. Can you imagine growing up in a time when you had to take the Trolley into the city to get a pair of shoes (if you were lucky enough), get a job at 11 to help out at home, say goodbye to many of your family & friends as they leave this world & now have to sit here & watch these spoiled brats demand the newest toy, sit inside all day & play video games, & mouth off without blinking an eye. I'd be grumpy too.
Shit I AM grumpy about it & I'm not even old!
I believe part is due to Generational Ignorance & the other to poor/lack of parenting.
I have always said I wish I was born in a different time. I would gladly give up today's iPads, smart phones, flat screens & fancy things for a time of community, a time when neighborhoods gathered for BBQs, a time full of "Yes, please" & "No, Thank you".
But most importantly, a time when we were not only taught how to be respectful, but how to earn respect from others. Some of the things I have seen lately, behavior that parents are not only allowing, but condoning, is unreal.
To this very day, there are neighbors in my parents neighborhood that I still refer to as "Mrs." & "Mr.". Even as I grew older & was given permission by them to use their first name, I still never did. I suppose I'm a different thinker.
Here's an example for you:
While hand addressing 'J's 1st birthday invites (to which we invited ALL family, friends & even Husbands Grandmothers friends that came to the Baby shower) Husband stops me halfway through & asks
"Do you have Turrets or something?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Well, it's just that half these invites are written in cursive, & the other half isn't."
"The cursive ones are for older guests."
"What? That makes no sense."
"Because people of the older generation appreciate when you write in cursive, trust me, it's kind of like a 'writing respect' thing."
"Whatever you say...."
Now, I'm not try to preach that I'm an angel or anything like that. I've been known to get a little more than irritated with granny drivers that can't see over the wheel (In my defense I see that not as a respect issue, but as a Public Health & Safety Issue!) but I never honk or yell at them.
Bottom line is this-
These amazing people have lived a long, HARD life. Things were not always like this. They have seen our world transform & grow, time & time again, always having to adapt or be left in the wind. They not only DESERVE our respect, they have more than EARNED it. And if they are rude, or disrespectful to you, you just take it. Can you imagine growing up in a time when you had to take the Trolley into the city to get a pair of shoes (if you were lucky enough), get a job at 11 to help out at home, say goodbye to many of your family & friends as they leave this world & now have to sit here & watch these spoiled brats demand the newest toy, sit inside all day & play video games, & mouth off without blinking an eye. I'd be grumpy too.
Shit I AM grumpy about it & I'm not even old!
Thursday, April 12
Jury duty....or Jury DON'T
Argh!!!!
Super frustrated with our Court System.
I got my summons for Jury Duty last year, but we had already purchased our tickets/planned our vaca for FL that was at the same time. They gave me a postponement. Then I got my 2nd summons & was put on bedrest right before, faxed a doctors note & got my 2nd & last postponement.
Which brings us to the present. I got my orders in the mail again today. For May 14th. I see several issues here, but the most important is this:
I am Exclusively Breastfeeding.
Knowing I can't bring Little 'A' with me to the Court House, I called anyway to see how this is supposed to work out. They offer no solutions, other than I should 'just pump'. Here's my issue with that 'advice'- not EVERY nursing mother either A) wants to nor should be forced to pump or B) has enough supply to nurse her child/children all day AND pump extra milk for reserves.
She asks, "Well, do you live close?"
I answer, "No, I live in ____"
"Oh, yea thats not close at all."
"No, and I will have to drive to _____ _____ for child care"
"Oh my!"
"...my thoughts exactly"
"If it's any consolation we do have a fridge you could put pumped milk in"
"..no it's not. But thank you for your time"
-End of conversation-
So this is where it stands as of now:
-I will have to drive from my house in ____, in rush hour traffic 30+ mins to ____ ____ for my parents to (hopefully) watch the boys, then another 30+ or so to the courthouse & be there by 8:30am until 5pm where I will have to drive in rush hour AGAIN back to ____ ____ to pick them up, & back to my house.
-If I am chosen as a Juror I will have to do this multiple times.
-I am going to have to start pumping NOW to try & get enough reserves stored.
-I am expected to pump while I am there & store my infants milk in a community fridge where anyone can have access to it.
-Both Little 'A' & I are expected to endure physical discomfort for the duration of this stint.
My compensation for ALL of this? A maximum of $25 for the 1st day, $40 for days after that and $0.10/mi from my house to the court house....which will be $4.40.
I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it in my mind. First off that is NOT enough to cover childcare for 2 children from 8a-6p. And with gas at $4.00+ a gallon, that does NOT cover my travel to & fro.
What I am most upset about is the forced pumping issue. I have spent the past 2 months trying to correct a milk imbalance that was wreaking havoc on poor Little 'A's digestive system. We are finally in a good place. And regardless of what anyone says, pumping and nursing are NOT the same thing. A plastic pump does not extract milk nor release key hormones the way your child does. Furthermore your child tends to only release certain milk ducts, which your body adjusts too. A pump does them all. So you tend to get engorged (at least I do) when switching back and forth randomly.
Very Displeased at the moment. And believe you me, someone is going to get an earful about it when the time comes.
Super frustrated with our Court System.
I got my summons for Jury Duty last year, but we had already purchased our tickets/planned our vaca for FL that was at the same time. They gave me a postponement. Then I got my 2nd summons & was put on bedrest right before, faxed a doctors note & got my 2nd & last postponement.
Which brings us to the present. I got my orders in the mail again today. For May 14th. I see several issues here, but the most important is this:
I am Exclusively Breastfeeding.
Knowing I can't bring Little 'A' with me to the Court House, I called anyway to see how this is supposed to work out. They offer no solutions, other than I should 'just pump'. Here's my issue with that 'advice'- not EVERY nursing mother either A) wants to nor should be forced to pump or B) has enough supply to nurse her child/children all day AND pump extra milk for reserves.
She asks, "Well, do you live close?"
I answer, "No, I live in ____"
"Oh, yea thats not close at all."
"No, and I will have to drive to _____ _____ for child care"
"Oh my!"
"...my thoughts exactly"
"If it's any consolation we do have a fridge you could put pumped milk in"
"..no it's not. But thank you for your time"
-End of conversation-
So this is where it stands as of now:
-I will have to drive from my house in ____, in rush hour traffic 30+ mins to ____ ____ for my parents to (hopefully) watch the boys, then another 30+ or so to the courthouse & be there by 8:30am until 5pm where I will have to drive in rush hour AGAIN back to ____ ____ to pick them up, & back to my house.
-If I am chosen as a Juror I will have to do this multiple times.
-I am going to have to start pumping NOW to try & get enough reserves stored.
-I am expected to pump while I am there & store my infants milk in a community fridge where anyone can have access to it.
-Both Little 'A' & I are expected to endure physical discomfort for the duration of this stint.
My compensation for ALL of this? A maximum of $25 for the 1st day, $40 for days after that and $0.10/mi from my house to the court house....which will be $4.40.
I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it in my mind. First off that is NOT enough to cover childcare for 2 children from 8a-6p. And with gas at $4.00+ a gallon, that does NOT cover my travel to & fro.
What I am most upset about is the forced pumping issue. I have spent the past 2 months trying to correct a milk imbalance that was wreaking havoc on poor Little 'A's digestive system. We are finally in a good place. And regardless of what anyone says, pumping and nursing are NOT the same thing. A plastic pump does not extract milk nor release key hormones the way your child does. Furthermore your child tends to only release certain milk ducts, which your body adjusts too. A pump does them all. So you tend to get engorged (at least I do) when switching back and forth randomly.
Very Displeased at the moment. And believe you me, someone is going to get an earful about it when the time comes.
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